Beyond the Story: The Art of Appreciation in a Culture of Never Enough
"Beyond the Story: The Art of Appreciation in a Culture of Never Enough"
As the renowned storyteller and film legend Jean-Luc Godard once observed, "Sometimes reality is too complex. Stories give it form." Narratives, by their very nature, simplify our complex realities. They create the illusion of order and logic, presenting our lives as cohesive and complete. While stories can help us make sense of the world, they also limit our potential by reducing the infinite complexity of who we are into linear plotlines: "I’m the one who always gives," or "Nothing ever works out for me."
But we are more than our stories. Beneath the narratives, we are fluid, evolving beings living in a mysterious universe. And while it’s not always possible to escape the stories we’ve inherited or created, we can learn to question and expand the perspectives behind them. This shift—from being bound by stories to exploring the perspectives that shape them—is where transformation begins.
As a coach, I often work with people who feel stuck. But what does "stuck" really mean? Most often, it’s the result of rigid narratives that frame how we see ourselves and the world. "I have no options." "This is just how life is." "I’m not the kind of person who can change." These stories feel so absolute, so immovable, that they create the illusion of being trapped. Yet, what’s often happening is a narrowing of perspective rather than a true lack of possibility.
One of the most powerful tools for shifting this perspective is appreciation.
At first glance, appreciation might sound like a softer cousin of gratitude, but it’s far more profound. To appreciate what you have is to truly recognize the value of the people, things, and world around you, as well as your own unique attributes—and to treat all of these with the care and consideration they deserve.
This goes beyond thankfulness. Gratitude often focuses on what we’ve been given, but appreciation asks us to engage deeply with the reality of what’s present. It invites a broader awareness: an understanding of how the world works and what is valuable within it. Appreciation also allows for critique—it helps us recognize not just what is good but also what is missing, broken, or neglected.
However, practicing appreciation isn’t easy. It requires us to think across multiple dimensions—personal, social, and global. Even in good times, you might feel like you’re not appreciating things as much as you should. Or worse, you might question whether there’s anything genuinely worth appreciating.
This challenge is rooted partly in our biology. We are driven by competing instincts: the urge to seek, achieve, and accumulate, and the simultaneous tendency to undervalue what we already have. Psychologists describe this dynamic as the hedonic treadmill: we desire something, get it, and then find ourselves just as dissatisfied as before, endlessly chasing the next thing.
But biology isn’t the only culprit. Culture amplifies this dynamic. Today, many of us feel overwhelmed by messages of scarcity and inadequacy: not successful enough, not wealthy enough, not good enough. These pressures are compounded by economic uncertainty, cost-of-living crises, and the looming threats of climate change. Even those who "get ahead" often discover that their new achievements haven’t brought the fulfillment they imagined.
In her book Braiding Sweetgrass, Robin Wall Kimmerer speaks to this tension, writing: “In a consumer society, contentment is a radical act. Gratitude cultivates an ethic of fullness, but appreciation deepens it by asking how we might give back in reciprocity.” Kimmerer’s words remind us that true appreciation is not passive—it’s active, rooted in care, and deeply reciprocal. It challenges us to nurture what we value and to question the systems that encourage us to take endlessly without giving back.
When we learn to see beyond the narrow stories we tell ourselves—"I need to keep striving," "I’m stuck," or "The world is hopeless"—we can step into a wider perspective. From this place, appreciation becomes more than a fleeting feeling; it becomes a practice.
This practice starts by asking: What am I overlooking? What perspective am I not seeing yet?
From there, appreciation unfolds into a fuller awareness of what we have, who we are, and what the world needs from us. It becomes a way to resist the pull of the hedonic treadmill, to engage critically with the world’s flaws, and to honor its gifts.
Appreciation, like any meaningful change, takes effort. But it’s in this effort that we begin to transcend our stories, reclaim our agency, and build a life that feels both connected and complete.
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