The empathy vaccine. Why we need it in our workplaces.
Entrepreneurs and leaders need to be more than just money makers, they must be meaning makers.
I have always wondered why empathy, one of the necessities of a well lived life is not developed and taught in most work places.
People who develop and practice empathy enjoy happier relationships with themselves and their peers. They are less likely to get triggered by events, and more accustomed to holding up a mirror instead of a microscope in a tense situation, so people can see themselves, rather than just their mistakes.
Why are we not convinced that developing organizations that nourish people instead of sucking them dry is the secret ingredient to creating prosperous outcomes, and perhaps even saving the planet from some of the biggest issues we face today.
Entrepreneurs need to be more than just money makers, they must be meaning makers.
Engaging the hearts, minds and talents of your people is perhaps the most sustainable source of competitive advantage that there is.
Improving learning and performance.
How can we enjoy ourselves without a culture of empathy in our workplaces?
I think many people think of empathy as a sign of weakness or something not valuable in our workplaces.
Perhaps because empathy is one of the most mysterious interactions that a human being can have, and although it is available to all of us, we have to develop a certain courage and forgetfulness to engage deeply in it.
The courage to look at something in a new way, to feel or see without our usual lens.
The ability to forget ourselves for a moment, so we can become aware of someone else and their experience.
Empathy means you stop constantly asking yourself - How can this benefit me or how do I use this to my advantage? Instead you ask, how can serve this person and situation.
Emotional literacy.
It's just emotional literacy in action. It means you have to touch the heart of something real, often some pain that you may not even be able to do anything about.
Developing empathy is softening into life by softening to the lives of others. And that terrifies many of us in this speedy world, because we are obsessed thinking we might lose out on an opportunity if we let our guard down for one second or show our humanity instead of wanting to win at any cost.
The modern organization - barriers and processes.
We live in a world with many barriers and processes that tend to beat all the empathy out of our work places. I worked in one organization recently that was going though a very tough patch, and they asked me to sit in on some meetings and also do some shared values work.
What I saw was that as things got more and more messy and out of control, as the bottom line got threatened, people starting losing all the goodwill they had built up and started attacking each other and making someone else the problem.
It's a mistake.
It was a shared problem, and by helping to create a more empathetic culture, people were able to start connecting the dots. The problem was everybody's problem, they just met it at different places in the supply chain. It wasn't always easy having these conversations, but in time the culture became less toxic, and often the wrong people filter out in the end.
If we harden and armor up to the problems in our teams and organizations, we'll never solve them in any meaningful way. It will always be a band-aid solution till the next crisis arrives.
Deep connection and trust.
A kinder culture creates deeper connection and trust - it plugs people in to what really matters and empathetic people become natural leaders, as people gravitate towards them, no matter what their title.
Since empathetic people see and understand in a broader way, they benefit from feeling like they matter to others.
They build larger more connected worlds to work and play in, and they benefit from just enjoying how good it feels to care for others.
I believe empathy is a cornerstone of meaningful relationships, and that is the foundation of healthy organization, large or small.
A simple way to explore empathy.
One interesting way to grow empathy is to look beyond the surface of life and develop an awareness of all the hidden humans who are responsible for many of the things we take for granted, many of which we could not live without.
A wisdom tradition-inspired approach to this is to spend a day becoming mindful of every person connected to your routine, actions and events.
So when you roll out of bed in the morning, and take a shower, ponder all the people necessary to allow you to have a hot clean water in a nice private bathroom.
For millions of people, that is something they will never experience, since they have no access to clean water of any kind, let alone electricity and a infrastructure to deliver it. Many of them don't even have a job to go to.
As you dress , think about the folks who grew the cotton you are wearing, who designed it and the factory where s was made, and the transportation system that allows it to get to you. Fabric is all around us and yet we never stop to wonder about how it is even created and turned into so many beautiful things we wear each day.
If you stop for a coffee on the way to work, do you ever wonder about the lives of the people who picked the coffee beans. And the thousands of people required so you could have a hot cup of coffee in your hands with a simple request and a few dollars. It's a miracle.
Throughout the day you can continue to bring curiosity to bear on everything you experience, from the bus driver to the office cleaner, to the art on the walls of your office.
It is this type of thoughtful awareness that sparks emphatic wonder at the interconnections of our life, and it can also spark action on behalf of others, whether it's buying something local to support your community, or getting to know the person who cleans your office at night.
They have a story too. They have hopes and dreams and troubles. So much of our world becomes invisible to us and we don't even really stop to notice it. It makes us very self-centered, which makes it very difficult to practice empathy.
It's also how innovation is born, when we find out more about what goes on beneath the surface of our daily lives, and decide something might need to change, improved or invented.
Not only will developing this practice make your life more interesting, I believe it will make you happier and healthier., as you realize that empathy connects us to something much bigger than ourselves and our own problems.
Empathy asks you to switch off autopilot and dig deeper by becoming curious about the lives of others.
Find a time if you want to have a conversation to explore coaching for yourself.