The merry-go- round
Walking along the coast on a night as dark as black ink, a man lost his footing, slipped down a cliff face, managed to grab hold of a branch and dangled there, desperately hanging on as the branch slowly began to give way.
He shouted in the blackness
Help me, Help me, or I will fall to my death.
An unseen person walking behind him is aware that the cliff is not very tall and the man’s feet are a few inches from the beach below. He calls out in a soothing voice.
Don’t worry, everything is going to be OK, all you have to do is let go. Everything will be fine – don’t panic, just let go…
There’s a short pause and the man yells
Isn’t there anyone else up there who can help me!!!???
Letting go can sometimes be the hardest thing to do. Seems we are often in situations like the man dangling from the tree. We don't see the whole picture, and we cling so wholeheartledly to the idea that holding on is somehow the better option for us.
There is nothing in the world that is unchanging - except perhaps the truth that everything changes.
In the wisdom traditions, we say that all our pain, all the things that are unsatisfactory to us, all the dissatisfaction in our lives stems from craving for or clinging to things that are impermanent.
If we begin the exquisite process of letting go, then perhaps the most significant practice we must cultivate is how to continue to stay open to life, amidst the trials and tribulations that make us want to close up again and again and again.
In a sense, it’s almost like we have to keep emptying ourselves, as life fills us up with fear, worry regret or any of the other emotions that regularly take us over, and that includes positive emotions too. Think about how often you become so attached to something good and try to hold onto it, just like that branch, as if holding on was where the happiness was going to come from.
If we look real close, we see how often this just brings us more pain, because what if the joy we are experiencing comes from within us, and we don’t need to hold onto anything to enjoy it?
What if happiness and contentment is just continually letting go and being in the moment as fully as we can be.
My own teacher called it carrying a portable paradise within yourself. He insisted we just take care of the moment we were in and the future would take care of us. You only lose what you cling to, so cling to nothing and every moment now becomes available for you to use in your own transformation.
It seems like hard medicine to swallow, and very counterintuitive to what we are taught.
We are taught to hold on.
We are taught to heroically cling to everything good as tightly as we can, and get rid of every bad as soon as we can, and yet in some deep recess of our hearts, we know this never works.
How do we hold onto happiness? How do we avoid setbacks and situations we don't like but can't change?
Actually, what most of us hold onto is that branch on the cliff. We hold onto circumstances being just right! Not to hot, not to cold, but just right at every moment.
Mindfulness and awareness practice is a much better solution to living well.
Each one of us is on our own personal pilgrimage that takes time and a willingness to begin again, over and over, over and over, we are always beginning again.
Life is unpredictable, and the practice of letting go is one of the most mysterious practices we can master.
There was a great teacher who was one day giving a talk on the meaning of life. He was so peaceful and serene and one of his students asked him what his secret was.
This is my secret he said.
I don’t mind what happens.
He did not bother to elaborate, and perhaps his secret confused them even more.
Did it mean he did not care?
Did it mean he is an unfeeling?
Did it mean he was just resigned to everything?
I think it meant he was in alignment with what happens. To be in alignment is to be in a relationship of inner non resistance with what is happening.
It means not to label it mentally.
Then from that place of mental freedom, that point of non resistance, you can take action if you need to. you do whatever the moment requires of you. My experience over the years is that I never got better results in my life by being in constant resistance to what was going on.
It doesn't mean you don't go for what you want or have goals and dreams, it just means you don't spend your life arguing with reality.
Each and every day we are in a sense invited to slow down and start to listen for the things that really matter to us. To learn to stop being swept away by the labels and endless thought streams that turn the music into noise.
Letting go is like breathing. I believe we let go to keep our hearts alive and well.
If you want to practice letting go, you can ask yourself a few question.
Every time something comes up for you, ask.
What am I holding onto.
What if I just let it go?